Reflexions- Chapter 4, Pt.2 "For Richer, For Poorer"

"Life can only be understood backward but it must be lived forward." -Soren Kierkegaard

I spent some time yesterday going back to the blog posts of January 2009.  Most of you know that Andy's accident is how the Mr. Bichler Blog came about.( www.mrbichler.blogspot.com  ) Over the past 10 years I would periodically visit the blog just to remind myself of how far we had come since his TBI.  Since his death I haven't really wanted to go there just yet. Today would have marked 10 years and 1 month since his fall.  10 years ago today he was in the Dodd Hall Rehabilitation Center at OSU in a struggle to regain his life as we knew it and all I could do was watch.

Let us pick up where we left off.  The winter of 1978 was one of the worst in the meteorologic history.  But as always, winter turned to spring and before we knew it our crab apple trees were in bloom again.  Having a baby changes everything.  Life as we knew it would never be the same.  It was better! (at least on most days).  The days and weeks flew by and we happily witnessed all the benchmarks set by Dr. Spock as Trish went from infant to toddler, learning to crawl, walk and talk, right on cue.

Trish became her dads little helper and was always with her Daddy.

 One of the great things about teaching was that we had the summers off.  Andy filled those summer days with a part-time landscaping job and his left over time he spent making improvements on our property.  Nearly every summer for many years, he had a building project planned.  This summer was project #1 a garage.  My Uncle Walter was tearing down an old shed on his farm in Ostrander and he told Andy he could have the lumber if he wanted.  So my dad and Andy made multiple trips to bring down the old oak timbers and beams and work began on our first garage.

Trish being very adventuresome!

Our new routines included school life and family life.  Both equally important and many times they overlapped.  Summers were consumed by home improvement projects and at school we were fighting to get a girls athletic program started.  Title IX had opened the door but not every conservative school board was willing to jump on the band wagon and ours was no exception.  But with the support of Don Schiff and our tireless work we were proud to say that we had the first girls volleyball team in the county.  Basketball followed a year later. Being hired as the first girls basketball and volleyball coach at Memorial Middle School is one of my proudest achievements.  Wife and mother holding the top two spots!

The middle school yearbook. 1975-76

Our new family tradition was a trip to Myrtle Beach the day after the school year ended

Trish got her first basketball & hoop on her 2nd birthday from Grandma & Grandpa Wilson.
 It's also one of the few times you will see Trish in a dress!

Lazy summer days spent in the creek with our yellow lab, Buddy.

It was late summer of 1980 that we announced that baby #2 was on the way.  We told Trish that she was going to be a big sister and although I am not sure she understood, she was excited.  That fall, Andy and I experienced grief for the first time in our young marriage.  I miscarried in the first trimester.  Every now and again, I will think of how difficult it was to lose our unborn child.  If it is possible to have a fond memory during a time like this, it would be the one etched indelibly in my mind of Dr. Arikawa staying with me after Andy and Trish had left the hospital.  It was nearly 2 a.m. and he sat in a chair next to my bed and in silence just held my hand.
We often say that after every storm there is a rainbow.  Our rainbow arrived 12 months later and we named her Sara Dawn!

It seems that every time I made the trip to the London court house for a building permit I was pregnant.  This time was no different.  Andy decided that the building project for summer of 1981 would be an addition on the west side of our house.  The addition would add a family room and garage on the lower level and 2 bedrooms on the upper level.  Once again we provided the labor and with the help of family we were under roof when our new little bundle of joy dropped in 3 days after Christmas.

All framed up

Putting the poly on

Andy with his trusty helper

Christmas Eve of 1981 was certainly eventful.  Our 4 year old was extremely excited for Santa to come while I was extremely miserable and barely able to move.  I had gained nearly 45 pounds over the past 9 months and was beginning to worry about how we would ever get Trish's new kitchen set put together and presents wrapped before Christmas morning.  And then it happened, the first labor pains began and I was in a panic.  I don't remember exactly what Andy was doing or what might be going through his mind. Most likely because I was consumed with one thought.  I was going to miss Christmas morning with Trish!  I know it sounds so silly now but if you've ever been pregnant you probably understand.  As uncomfortable as I was, I was very upset about the timing.  I called Mom and Dad to tell them that we needed them to watch Trish.  Mom was at the Christmas Eve service so Dad drove over in the farm truck.  Yes, I was a little concerned about Dad baby sitting but we had few options which made me even more anxious.  God, although probably a little perplexed at me for not wanting our baby born on the same night as the Christ child, granted me an answer to my prayer.  The instant the Dad walked through the front door the contractions stopped.  Thankfully, Dad stayed to help Andy assemble the kitchen set and wrap the few remaining gifts.  Poor Dad, when Trish was born we hadn't had time to hang our kitchen cabinets or to assemble the crib and bassinet and he got stuck doing that job as well.  At any rate, baby stayed put and we celebrated Christmas day as a family of 3.  Looking back I sometimes think it would have been nice had she been born on Christmas Eve or Day.  We could have given her a festive name like Merry, Noel or Kris.

It was December 28 when my contractions resumed and 15 minutes after we arrived at the hospital Sara was born.  No time for an IV or epidural this baby had waited long enough.  There were 3 babies in the nursery, a set of twins and the "big" baby.  Yes, Sara tipped the scales at a whopping 11 pounds and 4 ounces.  Her baby picture looks as though she had a Madison County Hospital crop top on. ( I tried to locate that baby pic but I think Sara is possession of them)
Relieved, after months of worry, we were now a family of 4.  Andy was elated to be a father again and it never seemed to bother him that he had daughters, he loved them and they idolized him.

Trish with her belated Christmas present.  When she finally had a chance to hold her she asked, "What does she do?"  I think she was thinking she would have a playmate.

Trish with her little sis

Grandma & Grandpa Bichler
New Jersey 1982

Family Photo 1984

REFLECTIONS- Chapter 4 "For Richer For Poorer"

"Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful." - Annette Funicello

Before long we had settled into a routine that greatly revolved around Memorial Middle School and the students we taught.  I was still the cheerleader and ski club advisor while Andy had picked up a second job working 4-12 at the Juvenile Detention Center in Marysville.  This second job provided us with our very own washer and dryer, quite a luxury for us at the time. We had also moved from our Mechanicsburg apartment into one of the twin apartments on Kirkwood Dr. in West Jeff.  Life was good and we kept busy. We spent our summers playing tennis and softball. I played for the Garver Dairy womens team, we both played on a co-rec team and even dabbled a little playing pumpkin ball and Andy played basketball with Bob Ridewood, the English teacher, at the middle school. We decorated floats for the Ox Roast parade and manned the dunk tank on Labor Day weekend.  Andy and Don Schiff formed a lasting friendship as they realized that they were both "carnies" at heart. You can't go wrong with cotton candy and carnival games!

I think it must have been around 1976 that we started seriously looking for a more permanent home in the country.  Neither of us were very comfortable living in town and longed to have a home with a little acreage.  At one point we thought we had found our dream home on Roberts Road but the banks would not include my salary since I was of "child bearing age" and therefore we did not qualify for a loan.  I was heartsick but, in retrospect, realized that it was never meant to be our dream home.  That would come a year later along with another addition.

 It was early 1977 when we learned we were pregnant.  Andy was now in a renewed house hunting frenzy.  He was going door to door along the Big Darby looking for property that might be for sale.  During this search he learned that there was talk of putting a reservoir in the area so he switched gears and started a new search along the Little Darby.  He happened upon a couple at the end of Byerly Mill Road and our luck had changed.  They were in a hurry to sell the little fishing cabin but wanted cash at the time of the sale.  Andy took me out to see the cabin and the 1.25 acre parcel of land on the Little Darby Creek and fell in love.  It was May and there were multiple pink and white flowering crab trees chock full of blossoms and a crystal clear creek running along the length of the property.  It could not have been more perfect. We negotiated a fair price and cashed in all our pennies and closed the deal.  That was the easy part.  Now we had to get this summer cabin converted into a winter cabin before the arrival of our September baby.

Flowering crab trees were everywhere!

The backside of the cabin.

Taken from the creek looking towards the cabin. The day after closing when we drove out, the entire yard was under water from the recent rains.  We were wondering if we had made a wise decision.

Our "forever" home

Our remodeling project began as soon as the school year ended!

The original cabin had 3 rooms.  A kitchen/living space, one bedroom and a bathroom (sink & toilet only)

To save money, we did all the work ourselves with the help of my brother and dad.  My brother even drew up the blueprints for us.

Time for lunch
Our newly remodeled home now had a living room, new bathroom, master bedroom, nursery, kitchen and a utility/laundry room.

As the summer wore on my energy waned.  I had planned to teach at least the first two weeks of school since my due date was not until the 17th of September.  But after the first day, I realized that my body had different ideas.  My long term sub, who since has also become my long time friend, would have to fill in for me.  It was a win-win!  My ankles actually looked like ankles once again and Sharon, a recent grad, gained some valuable teaching experience.  The predicted baby boy, according to doctors and my Grandma Long, came right on time,  September 17, following the WJ football game.  We named our first, Trisha Marie, yep, Grandma's theory of carrying the baby low wasn't fool proof!

Trisha Marie, 8 lbs. 3 oz.

Andy, Trish and a jealous Dusty keeping warm in front of our Buck Stove.  Our Buck Stove was a life saver during the Blizzard of '78.  We spent 5 days without electric in our newly remodeled home.  It passed the test!

The winter of 1978 was a doozy.  On January 25, 1-3 feet of snow fell in Ohio.  Winds averaged between 50-70 mph creating drifts as deep as 25 ft.  With temperatures near 0 the wind chill was -60 degrees. Trish was 4 months old when the blizzard hit.  The temperatures were in the 50's the day before but during the night our dog, who had been outside, was scratching at the frozen doggy door to get in.  We realized at that point that this was no ordinary snow storm. We lost electricity early in the morning and when Andy tried to walk to the pump house to get our Coleman lantern he had to return for a rope.  With the poor visibility, the strong winds and huge drifts of snow he was afraid he wouldn't be able to find his way back to the house.  We were fortunate in two respects.  Our water came from an artesian well so we had constant pressure even without electricity and we had a flat top wood burning stove in our kitchen.  As long as we left the water running at a trickle and had wood to burn we could survive.  We hung blankets to block ourselves in the kitchen with our heat source and spent the next 5 days waiting for our road to be dug out.  We cooked our meals on the stove top, played board games and Andy kept the wood pile full.  Trish simply ate and slept. It was an adventure to be sure and a story we never tire of telling.

And this is how we finally got out. (this is a stock photo, guess I didn't take any photos)

another stock photo to show the unbelievable amount of snow and drifting that occurred during this blizzard.

If you didn't live through it, it is difficult to understand the enormity of the storm.

As I look back, I am struck by the idea that we were so fortunate that we were in our little cabin home.  We had put electric baseboard heating in the new addition but after our first electric bill Andy insisted on buying a more economical way to heat, a Buck stove from my Uncle Kenny.  Sometimes having the biggest, fanciest or newest is not always the most practical in emergency situations.  And we learned that camping equipment can certainly come in handy!

TO BE CONTINUED

REFLECTIONS- Chapter 3 "From This Day Forward"

"To thrive in life you need three bones.  A wish bone, a backbone and a funny bone!" -Reba McEntire

The summer of 1974 was filled with anticipatory apprehension. Perhaps the anxiety was a sign of maturity or perhaps, after nearly two years of marriage, we were crossing to the dark side and becoming adults!  In either case, this summer would determine the direction of our lives for the next 35 years.  It would ultimately become a roadway marked by joy and loss, achievement and disappointment, milestones and failures but mostly the contentment of a well traveled journey.  In January of 1974, the early exit of Mr. Larry Hoffman from his 8th grade Science position. gave us hope that Andy might have an opportunity for a real teaching job.  At the end of the school year Don Schiff had recommended Andy for the full time position in the upcoming 1974-75 school year but we had to wait for board approval.  It seemed the board had some concerns about a married couple teaching in the same building.  Our wish for this particular summer was a full time teaching position.

I mentioned in an earlier post that Andy's dad had immigrated to the United States from Germany.  Johann Bichler was born on January 31, 1911 the youngest of 7 children.  John's oldest brother, Josef came to America in 1926 after the war and was able to send enough money home to bring John and his siblings to New York City. His parents, Josef and Ursula of  Bayern-Traunstein, Bavaria, never left Germany. John arrived in New York City in 1929.  Maybe it was the long trip by steam boat across the Atlantic or the fact that he had worked tirelessly, saving every penny, to earn his way out of New York City,  but John did not like to travel. Other than a few trips to Philadelphia or the occasional trip to Wildwood, N J, vacations seemed frivolous and somewhat extravagant.  This might explain why Andy decided to attend college 630 miles away in Tennessee.

Andy's father, Johan "John" Bichler

Andy's Uncle Josef who came to America, found work as a brick-layer and then sent money to bring his brothers and sisters here.

Uncle Andreas, Andy's namesake. This was his passport photo, thank you Ancestory.com

My father, however, had the Wilson wander-lust gene.  My Grandpa had it.  He spent summers as a teenager in Montana on a cattle ranch and my Uncle Walter once traveled across the United States on his Indian motorcycle sleeping in barns or under haystacks.  When he ran out of money in California, he sold his motorcycle and hopped a train (hobo style) to get back home.  Dad had seen some of the world as a Merchant Marine in WW II  and I'm ever so grateful we were treated to family vacations. Each year, once we had the 2nd cutting of hay and the wheat and oats in the barn, (late July or early August) we headed off to Michigan for a week of camping, boating, swimming and fishing.  It was one of the things that my brother and sister and I looked forward to each year.  One year dad changed directions and we found ourselves in North Carolina at the Outer Banks.  But my favorite trip was the time we went out west.  It was this trip that inspired Andy's and my vacation in the summer of 1974.  It took very little coaxing to convince Andy that a camping trip out west would be a great way to spend part of our summer.  Unlike the rest of the Bichlers, Andy liked to travel as much as I!

Silver Lake, Ludington, Michigan

This was taken on the trip I bounced my sister, Judy, off the teeter-totter and broke her arm.

No doubt prompted by our desire to travel out west, Andy purchased a used truck that also came with a truck camper in the back.  Odd, the things remembered so clearly while others remain hidden away.  I remember the camper but not the circumstances surrounding the how, why or even when he bought it. He was always bringing home something or other and always using the same explanation that it was a steal and just couldn't be passed up.  And, to his credit, it almost always was!

I believe it was the month of July, but what ever the month, it was about a week before the school board meeting when the pending hiring approvals would be made. As a much needed distraction, we left on our first vacation as a married couple.  We put Dusty in the camper and headed west taking the route that I remembered from my childhood.  We hit all the highlights, the St. Louis Arch, Pike's Peak, Garden of the Gods, the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone National Park.  It was in the park among the towering pines and geysers surrounded by moose and bison that Andy made the call on a payphone at the park office to learn that he had indeed been approved for the vacant science position. And as they say, the rest is history.  All of Andy's hard work to get through college was finally paying off.  This news made the second week of our trip one of the best ever.  We could finally enjoy ourselves knowing that we were both gainfully employed.

Truck camper, although I don't think this is the camper we took out west.

Garden of the Gods

Yellowstone Geysers

Bison at Bear Park in Wyoming  

We did nearly lose our cat.  Well, not lost, as in dead, he actually lived to the ripe old age of 21.  He evidently jumped out of our truck while we were stopped and having our refrigerator repaired in Idaho.  When the repairs were finished we drove away and were about 10 miles down the road before we realized that we could not find Dusty anywhere.  We drove back to the repair shop and there he sat in the parking lot looking quite indignant that we would actually leave without first looking to see if he were aboard.

Dusty

The second week of our trip included visits to Custer State Park, Mt. Rushmore and the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota.

Mt. Rushmore

I found my first two years of teaching to be my most challenging.  It seems it takes about that much time to build relationships with students and establish a reputation.  Maybe education classes are better than when I was in college but it seemed to me I was totally unprepared to step into the classroom.  Andy, on the other hand seemed a natural. His laid back approach and sarcastic humor seemed to command the attention of even the most hard to reach students.  Perhaps it was the fact that he had been an unconventional student that made him the unconventional teacher that he became.  I believe that his ultimate goal as a teacher was to make each of his students good people first with the belief that everything else would then fall into place.  His conference room was the stairwell where many a student got an earful if Mr. B happened to learn that they had been disrespectful to an adult or had bullied another student.  I think had he written a book of his exploits as a teacher it may have been a Best Seller!  Life Lessons in a Stairwell by Andrew Bichler

The 7th grade team

Donkey Basketball 1975

Middle School Staff 2008-09
Andy's 35th year

Ceora Bester, the Spelling Bee Queen

Andy 2009

Middle School staff meeting at the "Church"

Middle School Staff Kayaking at Trapper John's
I'm pretty sure Andy is tugging on Debbie's shirt

Two of Andy's favorite colleagues
Virginia Mohr and Brenda Knore

The lunch bunch

Jeanne Nichols

Cinderella

West Jefferson Unit
Madison County Historical Society

Alisha Mirollo
Archie Griffin Award

Prairie Oaks field trip

Retired Teachers Lunch
Barb Butler and Rich Haskins

It is hard to imagine a more satisfying career than the one we were privileged to enjoy at Jefferson Local Schools.  We were blessed with colleagues that became like family, students that taught us how to be more understanding and compassionate and parents that supported us through the good and bad times (most of the time!) and athletes that always, win or lose, made us so very proud.   I'm fairly certain we would not enjoy teaching in today's classroom.  Actually, I'm pretty sure we would both be fired within the first week, Andy probably after the first day when he told a student he was "dumber than a stick"!   Teaching in the 70's, 80's and 90's seemed a little more forgiving and probably offered more opportunities to connect to students on a personal level. My hope is, and I have seen it first hand, that the students we taught will carry the torch for their teachers that have since retired.  I was told by a former student that is now teaching that they give each student a nickname at the beginning of the year.  At Andy's calling hours and on social media, I was not surprised but certainly overwhelmed by the comments I read and heard from his students.  Students who acknowledged him for their successes.  As an educator, we cannot ask for anything more.