Mr. Bichler: Reflexions- Chapter 4, Pt.2 "For Richer, For Poorer"

"Life can only be understood backward but it must be lived forward." -Soren Kierkegaard

I spent some time yesterday going back to the blog posts of January 2009. Most of you know that Andy's accident is how the Mr. Bichler Blog came about.( www.mrbichler.blogspot.com ) Over the past 10 years I would periodically visit the blog just to remind myself of how far we had come since his TBI. Since his death I haven't really wanted to go there just yet. Today would have marked 10 years and 1 month since his fall. 10 years ago today he was in the Dodd Hall Rehabilitation Center at OSU in a struggle to regain his life as we knew it and all I could do was watch.

Let us pick up where we left off. The winter of 1978 was one of the worst in the meteorologic history. But as always, winter turned to spring and before we knew it our crab apple trees were in bloom again. Having a baby changes everything. Life as we knew it would never be the same. It was better! (at least on most days). The days and weeks flew by and we happily witnessed all the benchmarks set by Dr. Spock as Trish went from infant to toddler, learning to crawl, walk and talk, right on cue.

Trish became her dads little helper and was always with her Daddy.

One of the great things about teaching was that we had the summers off. Andy filled those summer days with a part-time landscaping job and his left over time he spent making improvements on our property. Nearly every summer for many years, he had a building project planned. This summer was project #1 a garage. My Uncle Walter was tearing down an old shed on his farm in Ostrander and he told Andy he could have the lumber if he wanted. So my dad and Andy made multiple trips to bring down the old oak timbers and beams and work began on our first garage.

Trish being very adventuresome!

Our new routines included school life and family life. Both equally important and many times they overlapped. Summers were consumed by home improvement projects and at school we were fighting to get a girls athletic program started. Title IX had opened the door but not every conservative school board was willing to jump on the band wagon and ours was no exception. But with the support of Don Schiff and our tireless work we were proud to say that we had the first girls volleyball team in the county. Basketball followed a year later. Being hired as the first girls basketball and volleyball coach at Memorial Middle School is one of my proudest achievements. Wife and mother holding the top two spots!

The middle school yearbook. 1975-76

Our new family tradition was a trip to Myrtle Beach the day after the school year ended

Trish got her first basketball & hoop on her 2nd birthday from Grandma & Grandpa Wilson.
It's also one of the few times you will see Trish in a dress!

Lazy summer days spent in the creek with our yellow lab, Buddy.

It was late summer of 1980 that we announced that baby #2 was on the way. We told Trish that she was going to be a big sister and although I am not sure she understood, she was excited. That fall, Andy and I experienced grief for the first time in our young marriage. I miscarried in the first trimester. Every now and again, I will think of how difficult it was to lose our unborn child. If it is possible to have a fond memory during a time like this, it would be the one etched indelibly in my mind of Dr. Arikawa staying with me after Andy and Trish had left the hospital. It was nearly 2 a.m. and he sat in a chair next to my bed and in silence just held my hand.
We often say that after every storm there is a rainbow. Our rainbow arrived 12 months later and we named her Sara Dawn!

It seems that every time I made the trip to the London court house for a building permit I was pregnant. This time was no different. Andy decided that the building project for summer of 1981 would be an addition on the west side of our house. The addition would add a family room and garage on the lower level and 2 bedrooms on the upper level. Once again we provided the labor and with the help of family we were under roof when our new little bundle of joy dropped in 3 days after Christmas.

All framed up

Putting the poly on

Andy with his trusty helper

Christmas Eve of 1981 was certainly eventful. Our 4 year old was extremely excited for Santa to come while I was extremely miserable and barely able to move. I had gained nearly 45 pounds over the past 9 months and was beginning to worry about how we would ever get Trish's new kitchen set put together and presents wrapped before Christmas morning. And then it happened, the first labor pains began and I was in a panic. I don't remember exactly what Andy was doing or what might be going through his mind. Most likely because I was consumed with one thought. I was going to miss Christmas morning with Trish! I know it sounds so silly now but if you've ever been pregnant you probably understand. As uncomfortable as I was, I was very upset about the timing. I called Mom and Dad to tell them that we needed them to watch Trish. Mom was at the Christmas Eve service so Dad drove over in the farm truck. Yes, I was a little concerned about Dad baby sitting but we had few options which made me even more anxious. God, although probably a little perplexed at me for not wanting our baby born on the same night as the Christ child, granted me an answer to my prayer. The instant the Dad walked through the front door the contractions stopped. Thankfully, Dad stayed to help Andy assemble the kitchen set and wrap the few remaining gifts. Poor Dad, when Trish was born we hadn't had time to hang our kitchen cabinets or to assemble the crib and bassinet and he got stuck doing that job as well. At any rate, baby stayed put and we celebrated Christmas day as a family of 3. Looking back I sometimes think it would have been nice had she been born on Christmas Eve or Day. We could have given her a festive name like Merry, Noel or Kris.

It was December 28 when my contractions resumed and 15 minutes after we arrived at the hospital Sara was born. No time for an IV or epidural this baby had waited long enough. There were 3 babies in the nursery, a set of twins and the "big" baby. Yes, Sara tipped the scales at a whopping 11 pounds and 4 ounces. Her baby picture looks as though she had a Madison County Hospital crop top on. ( I tried to locate that baby pic but I think Sara is possession of them)
Relieved, after months of worry, we were now a family of 4. Andy was elated to be a father again and it never seemed to bother him that he had daughters, he loved them and they idolized him.

Trish with her belated Christmas present. When she finally had a chance to hold her she asked, "What does she do?" I think she was thinking she would have a playmate.

Trish with her little sis